Midnight ramblings

Well it looks like 2015 won't be the year I break into the literary field. I am currently working on my fifth manuscript. I'm also thinking about tackling NANOWRIMO next month. I never seem to get past 6,000 words. At this point in my literary aspirations, I think I will just focus on writing the best novel that I can. I need to stop dwelling on landing an agent and so forth.  I have to greatest longing for my literary dreams to be more than just that. But I don't know. The whole self-publishing path I walked down three years ago, did nothing for my literary career. I guess I didn't know enough people  who read, and plus I don't have a great big publicity machine behind me. Heck, Amanda Hocking became a millionaire through self-publishing alone. Then she received a two million dollar contract from St. Martin. Press. I know that will not happen to the likes of me. I only sold maybe 10 copies. I know I will not be a viral sensation, millions will not retweet any of my blue moon tweets. My facebook page won't get astronomical views. Heck, I will not even win a writing contest. I've been entering since 2005. I doubt if my first page will ever be elevated to the next level on webook.  I have over 2000 readers on readwave, which  I appreciate. 2000 readers won't pique an agent's interest but at least there is somebody reading my writing. I will just keep trying. I've been dreaming for a decade. I'm almost forty and I don't know what else to do but write.